Think abt it before marrying outside...

its copied from brahmin community on orkut....

http://www.orkut.co.in/CommTopics.aspx?cmm=222887

http://www.orkut.co.in/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=222887&tid=2591030076776601298&na=3&nst=11&nid=222887-2591030076776601298-2591774310857135826

Think abt it before marry outside caste!!!!!!

veryone has right to maintain their own identity..... it'll satiate u..in dis way society becam structured...... n one's feel satisfied n complete, as it imparts perfection in society...also its d beauty of indian society... marrying insame cast provided same custom,compatibel jeans(relatively most of d cases),socially-acceptable(u know its india )...preserving ur identity......otherwise u'll lost ur identity..merge to be one....
there ws time before too...where there were caste bt united n complete.......so due to diverse nature of indian society wat u feel problem is....try to eradicate it rather than marrying outside...
ya dere sud be flexibility widin hindu....for marry etc... bt alwys prefer same caste, ya deny sub-caste issue completely.....like in brahamin never think maithili(me),kanyakubz,sarypadi,telgu,tamil,aiyyar,nair etc.... all one.....due to lack of transportation ...it ws not happening before...bt now its ok...so we sud....2ndly previous time too...brahamin married to other subcaste wen they move out 4m their ashram(gurukul) to other part.... no scripture hav opposed marry in other region.... so subcaste on d basis of region is totally unacceptable.. eradicate it...
well... ponder over it wat i hav told u... tired in typing....otherwise i would tell u more abt it..

prefer marry in brahamin.......protect ur unique genes....

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no hierarchy feeling for hindu..watever caste is.... everyone hav right to maintain their uniqueness n speciality in terms of tradition,custom,ritual,dogma etc...
bt not at d cost of degrading others...
all caste(around 6700 in india) r bro...n we all r equal.....ya everyone has lil bit diff in custom.bt main philosphy is same..
2ndly...... ya ...marry etc . r personal choice....depends upon person n their family...
before dis era..dere were lack of transportation n communication facility so marry etc ws confiene dto a specific area generally, bt now a days its not so..so obviosuly itb sud be change...
n ya... dere's jeans factor too.....family approval(its must)...
so one hav right to say that he/she wants to maintain their jeans pure...
bt no offense to others....
we'r all r equal... like east,west,north,south...all varna r same....work is worship....
another th....now no caste theory exists...its limited to just internal family custom,surname etc,,,,.
indian constituition plays d role of duty etc...
...there sud be big pool for marry too....so sub-caste n region barrier sud be devastated...
all brahamin irrespective of region,language sud be united and sud establish relation...n make our society a dynamic society..

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in my personal view abt it...
(u may be dis-agree wid me...no offense...just keeping my thoughts before all for healthy discussion(SHASTRATHA)....

alwys prefer same caste
:-never revolt againts ur parrents n family
-if ur parrents r not gud,means KUMATA,KUPITA,(like forced dowry,forced marry against person's wishes, decision while in drunker state or like dis...), u may revolt... bt alwys prefer same caste....

-we need just one, dat one may be anyone...so why d revolt n why against family? if we'll be wid smone, love will generated (condition:if we wouldn't prejudiced d person before and person is normal..not mad/drinker/drugs-addict,psy. disturb person,sadddist,criminal etc.. bad element)..so revolt...

-we alreday hav enough no. of gud professional n gud cultured....not ideal bt atleast best among all..... we'r at top in every areas.... either in engg./civil service/medical/ca/scientist/spiritual guru etc.....

-we all r known for tolerent and patient person..... so custom,ritual,dogma etc. too r uniquely best...... (no offense to other caste/religion..... everyone r best at their place...no quarell over it)... we'r simple maintaining our uniqueness... n we suppose all hindu irrespective of caste our bro/sis..... )

-we sud hav flexibility of inter-caste marry.... if opposite r of same standard, althought it sud be avoided...as genes sud be protected inorder to maintain healthy society and strutured society....

-restricting outside caste ...preserves speciality,uniqueness,healthy genes,so alwys avoid...althought not fanatically against...

-if son/daughter r revolting..no violence again them(stroctly no honour killing),ya u may dis-own if u r not comfortable wid d relation....bt a son/daughter sudn't..........at all...we may hav alot of option for opposite bt no option for parrents...

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-we can live happily wid anyone,(a/c to statistics, u can spent ur life wid almost 2/3 of all oposite of ur standard ,its world wide statistics...courtesy:westorn media), inour india, people r too much flexible dan west, comparatively v-high responsible n honesty ,co-operation,loyality in relationship perspective....so it mean almost 90%(i personally assume) of all opposite of ur standard r suitable for us.... so no mater of getting suitable match...

-a/c to psycologist, romance n love continues only for 18 month as average to max. 3 years, sexual attraction too active 18 month to max. 3 years,after dat any women how soever she is beautiful...form man's perspective(if we think as an abstract point of view ),she is bore.... so dis romance,love all dese things r not logical for d reason behind revolt....

-we cannot say i love her/his.... it'll be decided wen well end d life wid smone,then smone may say ..really they were in love.... initially it's just attraction, so no mater of love for revolt..

-initailly its just likeness,wen it crosses d boundry, means stub-borness, person say m in love wid his/her, its simple psy. problem (no offense), but ya..we may think wid mind dat we may live wid each other happily.... so we just speculate abt it...dat we wil be in love....initaily its just attraction...

- dere's diff b/w westorn and indian system ,
in west, people make relation wid their heart, and maintain relation wid mind(me,you,personal space, u do,high expectation,taking attitude etc...),
in INDIA:- people make relation wid mind and maintain n nurture their relation wid heart
tell me which is more successful? so no revolt....

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- in my view.....

if u like smone, contact ur family, if they show green signal,move ahead, if both side is ready, make relation... if family didn't, returned back from dat relation....

-alwys take care, til relationship is not authenticated by family and society, keep relationship only at dat extent so dat u could returned back anytime widout any panic

-alwys thinks wid mind rather than heart,
a person is said to weak wen his/her heart commands over his/her mind, and its well known said dat a person sud never make any decision in thier weak moment.....

-smth which may failed, and it'll cause sm trouble to us,we sud be careful while taking such decision, and d extent of carefullness is directly proportional to d risk(extent of trouble), if we lost money,we'll again hav, so less care abt materail-case.. bt if relationship is concerned, we sud be extreme conscious abt it, we may hav gud life if we won hav gud professional life bt gud personal life....
bt we can never hav gud life if we'll hav gud profesional bt bad personal life.... so relationship case sud be considered most serious...
dats why while taking decision abt relation...be serious....never take any decision in emotion....use mind....

-as i already told, romance etc exists till max. 3 years...after dat person's nature,family/socail support,custom/culture/financial condition, compatibility etc matter almost everyth........

-for compatibility.........alwys check for GOTRA and Kundlai match..... out of 36 features......18 is extreme necessity(no pandit wil advice u below 18 features), bt 24 is min. prefered....so alwys use kundali matching.... out of 36...min. 24..follow..otherwsie life may hav problem after sm years of marry in various terms,phy. problem,kids problem,financial,conflicts,boring married life ,other mystic prohblem etc..

-so if we use mind while making decision,gotra,kundali etc.. we won hav any problem ..so no matter of self-selection n revolt...

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-so if we use mind while making decision,gotra,kundali etc.. we won hav any problem ..so no matter of self-selection n revolt...

-family/society approval generally not wid other caste...dats why avoid... although if family n dat person's society hasn't problem...we can move ahead..bt (personally i hate hindu gal n muslim boy marry,due to sm valid obviosu reason,everyone know it, although its personal choice..no offense)

-subcaste in brahamin based on region sud be devastated.... no region wise..region cannot be base for caste.... its d sepcific custom which may be d base...all brahman hav same base.... bt ya if ur parrents r fully against. don do it.. why problem. u need one, u can hav alot of option based on ur family parameter/option/choice..

we can give pressure to our family for our own selected person widin a limit, we hav right n responsibility to our family n vice-versa, so we can n vice-versa family too can bt final decision will be made by family. if not..........den noooooooo.......

- we feel sorry or joy 4m heart not 4m mind, so if we'll say logically to our family dat m happy wid smone n accept it. n if family cannot feel comfortable,then NEVER MOVE AHEAD,

- a/c to psycologict a person after 28, generally cannot change his/her view(+/- w.r.t gender n person), so our parrenst wat thier belief n mentality is now cannot changed, we can give them sorrow in terms of revolt, bt we r young, we hav flexible mind, so we sud deserve in such case.....

-if u hav to make 2 decision , select those option which has less problem, alwys choose better option, don think in terms of IDEAL(ideal is fiction)

-for one relation, noone sud break alot of relation,

-same cultural ground noursihes d relation n assists in nurturing relationship...
-a/c to sm west psy. research, if couple hav same spiritual interest, their intimacy get strengthened relatively v-high.. so no outside religion marry( i mean avoid it)

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-or if u go for outsdie caste/relaigion, then dat sud be of extra-ordinary
-why if u hav similar option available already in ur own caste/religion....so why dis revolt and outside journey???

-respect ur custom,rituals,dogma ,n follow them too, teach dese th to ur family member effectively..

-every MAN sud respect their family member esp. parrents ,and wife,give love n affection to ur wife,kids n other family member along wid time... try to be roll-model for ur child... no child can revolt against u..... generally family who has sm problem like dis, their child elopes wid smone,
if u won get love in ur family wat wil u do? u'll search it outside n wen outside exposure wil be, there may be various -ve impacts over u, drugs,wine,crime,elopmemnet,......bt if u'll be satisfied wid d love u get in ur home..u wonlike to loose dat love....

-if ur family value wil be bad, means sm husband beats his wife,use abusive lang, drinker etc.. wat thier child wil think, they will try to move out 4m their family n revolt arises..

-never impose too much to child or wife, it may lead revolt n consequently child may elope....

-alwys keep evryone in confidence n give love n affection...

-important thing esp. to gal

-wat traditionally man n his family expect 4m bride... if u r diff as its obvious dese days, like working women, smoking women, high fredom liked women, dowry-issue,child issue, cooking-issue etc....( if u(gal) cannot fulfil traditional expectation(sm +ve n sm -ve), then better before fixing relation, be in courtship and talk straight forwardness wid politeness ,so dat u won hav problem later...esp. abt cooking,bf/gf-issue,job,child,dowry......

-believe in giving more than expecting more....

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Man sud co-operate working women in household chores...

-a/c to marriage therapist, watever women is even in case of house-wife, if man assist(even less extent! ) his wife in household chores, mutual understanding,love,affection enhances.. since women feel happy bcos of husband assist, so he gives more love to her man, and consequently better sex-life they wil hav(a/c to recently psy. report), so man sud assist his wife..
-also, wen kid see it,assist by papa to mom in cooking n other thing,love/afection b/w them, respect for each others..
-kids too will hav same mentality n so better future spouse.
-they will alwys like to be attached wid their family....so no revoolt..no psy. problem to kids, never sucice case..

-alwys give times to wife n kids... if u'll, no family member wil feel need of others love,
a/c to psy., one who feels aloneness, deviated towards SEX-NUDITY,FALSE-LOVE/VIOLENCE/other psy. dis-orderness, so alwys give time n love....

-alwys check ur spouse n kids mental as well as physical health...

If we brahamin/HINDU(however,anyone can follow it)will follow it....no divource,no extra-marital/pre-marital affairs,no blind alchol/drugs/smoking etc.. will be...

our next gen. too will be gud sanskari baccha same like as us or even better( if we wil follow dese th. along wid other not stated by me,ofcourse we'll be gud,sanskari person(male/female)...
continue...LATER......

P.S:- u may copy dis content n paste it in diff. communtiy or can give link in other thread or community so dat all brahman sud hav same caste(preferable) and better married life,better kids....

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Also, there is a social philosophy called Eugenics , i.e the study of methods of improving humans by allowing only carefully chosen people to reproduce
European social-philosopher had thought abt it, bt they couldn't establish such social-system effectively, while our ancestor had implemented such system dats why u find diff GOTRA,caste etc,...
dast why in sm ancient scripture, its mentioned dat widnin GOTRA ,marry is prohibited,n i sm cast too....
Although, cast n gotra issue ws diff,
like at present, our caste (around 6700) is too mixed n complicated, sm r based on genes, sm r just Family-tree based( called VANSH, like yadu vansh-yadav, lav(so of ram)-kurmi, kush(son of ram)-kushwaha etc....), sm r just region based, sm r just based on sect/creed, sm r based on sm custom , sm r based on duty ( goldsmith,carpenter,blacksmith etc..)etc....
so,those who r based on genes, n its said, no inter-caste, means it ws based on d Eugenics...... which will flourish ur next generation.

presence of Eugenics shows greatness and broad knowledge of our civilization, bt again it depends on u, if u say, i don care it, ur wishes, u may inter-genes(uncompatible genes), those who r compatible, grouped into one called specific caste(based on genes)...
while for other base for caste, there's no genes basic initially, so eugenics is not applied....

For other base of caste, there were practical problem at dat time, like diff. in life-style, so it ws not allowed(at dat time dere ws diff.)

bt there were sm inter-caste marry at dat time, bcos it depends upon personn their family, so sm do it.....means generallly n, bt s YES....

similarly....at present too.... sm do while most of NO... dats why avoid it....

Never Revolt against ur family!!!!!

u can get another man bt can never get another parrents....

2ndly.... love starts after marry..... wat u call love ... its just likeness....... its psychological phenomena......

also... u can get suitable Man 4m ur community itself.. so why dis risk? and abt gud person.... all person r gud except few.... if u marry wid smone..wat does it mean? does it mean only dat Boy is gud... all other man is bad... NOOOOOO....

means... its not like dat if u like smone den dat is rare... or u cannot get other like as him....

u can get like him anytime anywhere......

almost all INDIAN r gud.... btw.... better 2 choose partner 4m ur community so dat ur parrents n family could be happy.........else they will alwys be in trouble....

love doesn't mean u sud marry only... love as a frnd.... u love ur papa..wat does it mean will u marry wid ur papa.... also in dis young age... it happens... so better be mature and go wid parrents decision... however final is ur wishes...

bt my suggestion is...... NEVER REVOLT AGAINST UR FAMILY........

Alwys Prefer same Caste...

would alwys prefer BRAHMAN partner......... most revered, most intel. group, most successful group, one of the best jeans, victor mentality, high level mind and culture/civilization,

2ndly... alwys think we don care abt acceptability from other caste, we (n our family member) don't seek other caste groom/bride. bt they seek,

since we don open to other caste member as well as marital relation is concerned, so we hav price, value... bt if we too will be one of their part, our value will be lost... so better maintain dis specialty....

if smth is v-difficult to get, that smth has value, bt if u can get smth v-easily... that smth has less value....

so we don say smone superior /inferior... bt we'r special in our own way.... n we hav right n we sud maintain our specialty by being close to our social group (BRAHMAN) only..... ya sub-caste (based on region) is idle thing.... better we sud mixed so dat we could hav unity.....

P.S: its my personal opinion, no hurt to anyone , all hindus r equal bt diff social-group identity, n i love all human being... EKO BRAHAM DWITIYO NASTI

Maintain ur Genetic Identity!!!!!!!!!

if 2 diff. types of genes got mixed up........ result will be diff genes....

now there may be 4 situation...

1-> both genes get benefited i.e both child will hav better genes as compare to both .

2-> child will hav better than just mom/dad

3-> child will hav worse than just mom/father

4-> child will have worse than both

Means for u, any genes may be compatible(1st case), semi-compatible(2nd case), semi-incompatible(3rd case), totally incompatible(4th case)...

same genes sud be preferred or choose compatible genes...

in brahman caste, there r various genes, bt all r grouped under 1 caste bcos of compatible genes, bt there's several Gotra which mean it makes incompatible in to same Gotra.....

also.... last 7 generation 4m parental side and last 5 generation from mother side makes ur next genes vulnerable .

so u sud make rational decision....

for other caste too... there may be sm compatible... bt how will u choose... we don know.... unless there will be enough genetic engg. research,

else we sud follow tradition.... as long as time passes, we'r seeing dat our tradition going to be scientifically proved, so better we sud follow...

also, we we hav to marry ... we need just 1....then why not wid traditional rule
....... why to take risk.... why elopement...w hy to make ashamed parents n family...

bt if u don mind abt dese genetic issue and for u instantaneous emotion is more imp. or u don hav any other option.... n ur family agree... ur wishes.... move ahead... God Bless u!!!!!!!!!!

P.S: Genetic factor is one of d factor, there r several other factor, also, it depends upon u whether u consider genetic factor or not,

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wen u hav to marry... u need just 1... then whynot widin same caste... no problem of sub-caste(based on region/sect) in previous era there ws no transportation/communication facility like as at present.....

2ndly.... a/c to statistics.... u can live wid almost 2/3 of total opposite ...

also... if u marry wid smone.. n both of u r normal.... simply love will get developed....

n if u think... if u choose smone...then it'll be successful.. choose smone 4m ur cast only...

also... if u think... only love marry is successful.... think.... i western country..all marry is almost love-marry... why there's 2 much divorces..
while in India.. more than95-96% marry is arrange... still its most successful...

so love-arrange logic fails here....

bt ya.... if u r interested in love marry..better go love-com-arrange or arrange-com-love (like me interested in love+arrange(ie mixed) [:) ] ), choose smone 4m ur cast only.....

if u didn;t.... use internet.... matrimonial sit, old realtive, native place relative... n if not..then do atever u wish...

atleast alwys PREFER SAME CASTE..... bcos of several reason.... read all of my post which i have already posted in previous post/thread related to marry etc...